Finding my way back to yoga
One year ago I wrote down some feelings about finding my way back to Yoga.
This year has been different for all of us, some big challenges for sure. If you feel like you have somehow lost your way, your faith or belief in yourself has been challenged or shaken, let me remind you today of the incredible badass you are, and PLEASE be gentle with yourself, you may just need some time to find your way back.
Transformation
These beautiful moments are 1 year apart.
Both capture a tiny bit of the magic and peace I find through Yoga. What is not pictured is the long and somewhat painful journey I went on in between them.
To be completely honest and vulnerable here; (so scary!), I lost most of my faith in Yoga this year. Or at least misplaced it for a while.
I experienced some big losses and betrayals, and became pretty disillusioned with my Yoga community, the world around me, and perhaps worst of all, myself.
For a while I really could only see the worst in the world, the poor choices I had made, the people not to be trusted or believed. I understand why, I had been hurt and my brain was trying to protect me! But it wasn’t a happy place to live.
My biggest medicine and protector – (Yoga) had lost all meaning. I still loved to teach, but my self practice was gone, my joy was gone. Safe to say I felt fairly hypocritical when explaining why Yoga was awesome! It took a lot of time, therapy and support to find my way back to both myself and Yoga, and I am definitely still on the path to healing completely. I am a work in progress!
But what I CAN say with deep truth and love, is that I have found that magic once more, that I am starting to see the best in the world again, and I no longer want to punish or hurt myself for being human. (I am still trying with the daily self practice, it’s cold and I’m tired).
Thank you to everyone who has helped restore my faith, who has supported this spiritual journey, who has listened to me cry and not judged me for feeling self destructive or negative. (I cannot list you all here, this post is already too long).
Ohm Shanthi, Peace to you all.
Love, Shireesha/Rosie